A dead rat? What company that would be!

          I'm due a visit from the kiddo today. She's back from her holidays. So it's about fourteen days since I last saw her and since then I've had one conversation. A friend of my nephew's came up and spoke to me in Costas the other day.

         Having been off the tobacco for six weeks, I started back again, but I haven't been drinking too much too often anyway. I don't think I've spent an evening without something, which is my wont.

         I'm saying this because since the last time I saw my daughter, the meditations have taken what seems like a  profound turn. I'm still not getting big amounts of heat (which I'm quite pleased about!), but the bliss sometimes feels quite ecstatic. I know I always say things have moved on, but this stuff is dynamic and it does move on if you attend to it.

         I wrote this on facebook a day or so ago.
         'Someone was hoping yesterday that I wasn't too sad over the death of the love of my life four months or so ago. Well, if anyone is interested, I'm not the slightest bit sad. Neither do I feel the slightest bit sorry for myself. I'm living the life of the truly fortunate who practise the Great Yajrayana This means that this morning I've spent about three hours dipping into and out of what feels like the source of all pleasures. My meditations have taken a giant jump forward over the last ten days. This is the bliss. This is the bliss. This is the bliss. It's the poor basturns who are too dumb to meditate who are up shit creek without a paddle.'

(THE REST OF THIS POST ISN'T FROM FB)

         Of course, I'm still dealing with some grief! Grief is very interesting. You watch arising, abiding and declining. Some days are worse than others, but from it's peaks, it is always declining. It's the same as anything. Seeing your grief decline isn't something to feel any guilt about. I accept rebirth. I assume my bonds with the Domestic Bliss are eternal and I meditate for her. 
         What will you do, Great Lord, when old age and death come creeping in? Do good works and practise the juju, bikkhu. There's nothing else you can do.
         Stability is returning and I'm starting to motor on all fronts. I've worked out what to do with my play now and I'll start work on it properly after this year's gong banging festival, which I'll be attending next week. I've got about 83,300 prostrations to go and I'm far fitter and healthier than I've any right to expect.
          I've felt at ease being on my own over the last few days. It's as if something just seeped in, a kind of contentment maybe. I'm really looking forward now to the rest of my life.
          I did a lot of work (for me!) in the allotment yesterday. The shot at the bottom shows where my allotment is. Yes, it's the one with the smoke coming from it. This demonstrates that if you shout for me from the bottom fence I'm bound to hear you if I'm there.
          What a fortunate creature, I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!