The Perfect Crime.

          So I was chatting to Poisonous about going to Laos. One of the problems with going to Laos is that nobody knows how to pronounce it, so it's difficult to tell folk where you are going. Another problem is that you have to go in November. And November is a long time away. I mean, next November. At the current rate of attrition, almost everyone I know will be dead by next November. So I says what about Ecuador? Didn't you want to go to Ecuador before Laos?

          Dear reader, I must say that my first choice was Sikkim. You could find a cave in Sikkim where Padmasambhava meditated. So you could.

         We can get a flight from Germany into Bogata, in Columbia. Then get a plane to Quito. The taxi driver should be able to get us the kilo of coke to smuggle. When they show the video on the Six o Clock News, I have to be standing there with my Jimmy wig on, shouting and bawling about how I'm as guilty as hell, and I only did it to publicise my books on Kindle, and that I'd love, just love twenty years in solitary confinement, please! Unfortunately, I'd snorted up all the coke before I got to the customs post and we know that they love Scottishy folk abroad. I'll have to get a kilt.