Stopping Writing

         
          The bottom photie is where I was meditating this afternoon in the Botties. Couldn't not walk round the Botties today, the light was so good. An obscuration has appeared on the viewfinder of the camera and you can't see much of what you are aiming at. I'm not expecting this to effect the quality of the photies!

          I've been becoming happier and happier this week. I feel that I can really get on with the wonderful life now. All I have to do is stay well for a year or so and what a time I'll have!

          The meditation I started at ten tonight seemed really significant. The lovely warmth came on right from the start almost. I thought I wouldn't be able to get any heat unless I could visualise the three main channels, etc., but this practise is really far too far advanced for me. The Lama told me to keep away from the symbols and channels and that the heat would come on from the meditations otherwise. And so it has. I was feeling chilly when I sat down, but within a short time I felt like peeling off a layer. After about twenty minutes (?) something wonderful happened and opened up near the top end of my body/head.

          The meditations were going too well today to stop them for some writing. And I don't know if it's worth my while taking the netbook down the Samye. It'll be like going to the Holy Isle. I took the play there and never looked at it.

          I can't believe how fortunate I have been in this life! All because I taught myself to meditate. What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!!

Starting Writing

          I'm writing this on a netbook. I was going to take it to the Samye Ling. I thought it had no word processing on it, but someone must have done something to it when I wasn't looking. So if I take it down, I can edit Jock Tamson's. It's too wee to write on. Anyway, I'll continue this later on the other computery thing.
9.45 p.m.
          Yesterday I thought was going to be the end of the beginning. The beginning started twelve years ago when I read The Bliss of Inner Fire. The reason why it took me so long to get to the end of the beginning, if I've managed to get that far, is because my renunciation is, to put it mildly, a bit wishy washy. Also, I have no faith.
           Renunciation and faith seem to be bedrocks. In the Disbelieving Congregation we don't do faith. This is experiential mysticism. Knowledge through experience. Anyway, the boy said you didn't have to believe anything, just do the meditations and they would work. You have to take a pragmatic approach. Can you get this juju to work?
            Something has happened in the last fortnight that has sent me into the realms of the truly, truly fortunate. I'm starting to get a glimpse of how wonderful it will be if I just keep going. Not that I'm taking any credit for all this wonderment. I'm not going to crash and burn because of the lineage of Indian and Tibetan gurus who made the fantastic effort required to maintain these teachings.
            I'm a super-humanist. I believe in the human beings!
            "Wonders are many, and none are more wonderful than man." Sophocles.
           
             I meditated today in the lobby (in the morning as usual), and I meditated in the Botties and I meditated in the allotment. The first photie is what's in front of me when I sit on the new allotment bench. The third photie is where I was meditating in the Botties. What a great day I had today!

Hotboy Escort Agency. Second date. The Guru.

          The last time I wrote a post about the Hotby Escort Agency, I got a nice comment from a spam robot overseas with a link to a real escort agency. All of the girls were far prettier than moi. I'm celibate. It's a joke.

          So I went out on my second date tonight. I met her at Waverley Station and took her to the Burger King Bar, and gave her some money. It wasn't mine. I didn't earn it. I didn't save it. So I gave it to her. After a white coffee, we got a taxi and went to the newish restaurant across the road, and it was full. Then we went to a Buffulo Bill steak joint kind of place, and then we left without eating. She's like a model and doesn't really eat after lunch. She really seemed to enjoy the slice of my bread she ate when we came up here instead. I showed her my room and I'd changed everything on the bed, including the covers for the duvets, (!) in case she wanted to stay.

         She's a nun. I took refuge with her in January. She said: (aide memoir)

1) Enlightenment is not a state of mind.

2) She said she had no doubts about rebirth. We spoke about this for a bit

3) I asked her if everyone who meditated and did it for long enough got the bliss. She said it seemed not. (So that's all you flatheids off the hook. Maybe if you meditated ... anyway, you won't. Still, a flatheid then. Oh well.) Maybe it had something to do with how you were physically ordered. (So I was right. You are all a bunch of Neanderthals, so you are. Or you might not be, but too dumb to find out anyway!)

4) She told me lots of other things. I think I need a bit of help and she might be able to give it to me. What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!

Another appointment!

          There's a man in here touching up the painting on the windows that were fitted last week. I was hoping for the kiddo's boyfriend to do that since he is a painter as well, but surprise, surprise, someone from the window men has shown up.

          I'm still trying to maintain the view, though I don't know what the view is. I think it might be MIND. Everything is mind. I was trying that for a wee bit yesterday. Everything is consciousness works better. Anyway, I got here this morning hoping to find some comments to help ascertain where THE VOID has gone, but the two people who come here most are really only interested in talking about toilet training, so ... So where are the acupuncture meridians and where did THE VOID go?

          I expect to be meeting Mrs Palmo this evening for a wee chat. So it's a kind of nervous day. I had to make up a bed in case she needs some place to stay, and I'm having to sit here at the computery thing while the guy touches up stuff. But after tomorrow ... I won't have any appointments.

          I will not ask Mrs Palmo, who has been meditating on the Holy Isle for the last eleven years, where THE VOID has gone. But I suspect if you can see everything as mind, you're starting to crack this juju.

          Oh, since this is supposed to be concerned with writing ... I was going to start writing yesterday, but knew I'd have to stop today, so ... I couldn't get into the reports on my KDP account, but got great help on the phone yesterday from Amazon. My books have sold bugger all since the turn of the month, so I went onto the Meet Our Authors fora and tried to stir up some apathy before I came here. I sometimes wish I could forget all about these Kindle books!!

Where did THE VOID go?

 
          In the beginning, everything went BANG, and here we are fifteen billion years maybe later. Until the BIG BANG there's supposed to be no time or space, or space time, or anything. This is a state without characteristics, unless you say that going BANG is a characteristic.

          Until it went BANG, you might call it THE VOID. The question for today is where did THE VOID go? One kind of imagines that it was then space time and all that, sort of absorbed somehow. But I don't see where it could go if it didn't exist in space. I don't see how you can disappear when you haven't been anywhere in the first place.

           If THE VOID is somehow still with us, what effect does it have? You might say that it isn't anywhere, so it can't have any effects, but the acupuncture meridians aren't anywhere either, and we in the West have discovered somehow belatedly that they have an effect.

          I went for a walk this afternoon after lunch. Great. The apples in the first photies are from the allotment next door. This is the first day I've spent on my own since Thursday, and I think I only had Monday free before that. Dearie me. But it was a lovely day for a walk.

         I was going to start writing today, but tomorrow I've got someone in to touch up the windows and then I've got a very special appointment in the evening. And a lunch date on Thursday, and ....

Bliss diary.

11.04 a.m.
                I started meditating today just after half nine. Immediately it was obvious that things have moved on again. This seems to happen every day and the changes seem less subtle than they probably are. Whether this is stuff gathering in the central channel, the channels continuing to open up, or whatever ... something is definitely happening. And I am certainly not in control of it, this gathering force. I just have to sit and there it is.

                I can start meditating on Tuesday. That is the end of all appointments.
20.49 p.m.
                It was more or less a standard day. I meditated in the morning and went up to the allotment after my lunch. I had a lovely meditation there on the bench. Soon there will be hardly any folk going up there. Hurrah! Then I came back here and prostrated for a bit and had a shower. Meditated for a bit after that.

                I'm watching Scotland versus Belgium on the computery thing. Half time. We're getting beaten, as usual. But hope springs even although the Belgians are cheating by being better at football.

The end of times

          The windows have all been replaced. No more will I hear them rattling through the winter. The working class joes who came to do this were scary. One was very fat. One had a Mohawk haircut and big muscles. Now I know why the evil bourgeois have always been scared of them. I was so scared I had to leave them alone to get on with it, and had to walk the streets till they went away. I should have backhanded them fifty quid, but I wasn't here when they left, so I didn't. Evil bourgeois don't backhand anyone. They have servants. Just seeing these joes arrive made me realise how much I hated the evil bourgeois, and my degeneration into that disgusting class of folk.

        So what has to be done about this? There will always be suffering since only Buddhas do not suffer, and I do not believe that, so we all have to suffer. Until we don't. In an inconceivable place.

       This is the end of something. The beginning of something else. My partner has been dead for about six months. I don't cry every day. The windows have been fixed. The estate will be sorted soon, I hope.  This is a last remaining tendril. The windows have been fixed. I'll see the Domestic Bliss's best friend on Monday and she had just gotten over a terrible, but curable, black spot. After that, I'm free. At last, I'm free! At last, I'm free!

       I should be able to sit here and not smoke and not drink. Forget the time. Forget what day it is. Follow the seasons. Dig when there are diggings to be done. Solitude. Solitude.

      Impermanence. Preciousness of human existence. Karma. Get out of this existence, this Samsara.

      So when am I going to start meditating? It would be great if I could stay here and do that over the winter, and then I could be here, and be doing it amongst my deep, dear friends, the wonderful people. But when I see them, all I want to do is roll around in the gutters. I really enjoy doing that. So it might be best for everyone concerned if I just got lost up the Cairngorms, or down the Samye Ling, or over on the Holy Isle with Mrs Palmo, or just anywhere where no one knew you at all.

     

When I'm fixing windows!

         The men didn't come to fix the windows yesterday, but they've shown up today. There has been some difficulties recently in keeping away from folk.

         Froggy McDuck turned up unexpectedly last week and he showed up again yesterday. A friend phones last week to get me to come over to watch the footie. The men has shown up to do the windows today. On Monday I get visitors from Lanarshire. Then, free at last!! Free at last!!

         So I'm taking exception to the supposed rationalists like Richard Dawkins. I read the Selfish Gene about thirty years ago and was very disappointed in it, so I haven't read anything else since. But to the press he is posed as a rationalist, scientificy person. In fact, just like me. However, I have meditated and Richard Dawkins hasn't. I know about the bliss and he doesn't.

          What is the evolutionary purpose to bliss, Richard? Bugger all!!

           The French boys did an experiment (they must have been scientists!!) on acupuncture, and by manipulating the needles managed to increase the work the lungs were doing in dealing with the alocohol in the body. So someone is sticking a needle into an energy channel and an effect can be observed .... to cut a long story short, where is the energy channel?

            The acupuncture meridians and the subtle body are really the same thing. Where do they exist? You can chop a body into bits as small as you like and you will not discover any energy channels. If they do not exist in space as we know it, then where do they exist? If they don't exist in our space, they don't exist. So if these so called rationalists can't explain that.

            I'm  an atheist. I think of myself really primarily as a humanist. I'm into developing my potential as a human being and that's partly why I meditate. Folk like Richard Dawkins can call themselves scientists or humanists, but at the end of the day such people are flatheids, part of the great mass who are too dumb to meditate.

Turmoil.

          They're coming tomorrow to take all the windows out, and then  put other windows in. This will take two days, they said. So four days. Of  huddling and hiding away.

         In the midst of all this ... the wonderfulness of the bliss cannot be described, and I would like to get over this bliss shit and get back into the non-self and emptiness. I guess the bliss is just like the grief, except you know which one you'd like to get. Of  course, if you're really cosmic, it shouldn't matter. Neither should you be bothered by the men coming to take all the windows out. Dearie me. Be cool.