Ramblings!

         I'm into the third bottle of Erdinger and my exhaustion dissipates. I'm always completely knackered when I get back from the Samye. I'm going to get pissed and sleep for the next two days!! Tomorrow I might have to delete this post since it's under my own name and I may not be restrained.

        I saw the stuff about the typhoon in the Phillipines. 175 mph. What will it be like when the wind never stops and stays at around 100 mph.? The media is soothing on this problem. We are completely funged!! Within a generation a hurricane will blow all the buildings down in New York. Is there anything we can do about this? Well, the only thing I can think about doing is not eating meat. What can you do personally? At the end of the day it won't matter a damn, but it might make you feel less responsible ... as you drive about in your four wheel drive, etc. We are completely funged! It's greed. I want. I want a helicopter. For me, personally, it would be much better to have a helicopter to get around in. We had a bad storm here a couple of weeks ago, bad, that is, for here. October. It's only October! Well, it's November, but it happened in October. Wait till January! We're funged! Completely funged.

        My generation ate the planet. The flatheids shouldn't really want to have grandchildren. They'll get blown away. Get into the idea of rebirth, even although it isn't you that gets reborn. If folk believed they'd have to live in this horrible place where the populations are moving and starving and the big bombs are still extant ... dearie me. Thank god, I'm hoping for no rebirth for moi! If I have to have a rebirth, I'd like it to be on another planet, one full of nineteen year old hippies!!

        Terry Butcher is my favourite Englishman. I think it's great that he came to live in Scotland. I hope when we are independent that a lot of great Englishmen like him come and want to live here. Hope he does well at Hibs.

        I've read a lot of books about Tibet this year due to having to read something since in some places I've been there has been no telly, but lots of those kinds of books. Patrick French's Tibet, Tibet was very good. I finished it about five this morning. This noble boy who was into the black juju got his eyeballs taken out in 1934 in Lhasa. The holes were cauterised with hot oil.

        What matters about Tibet is that it was there a thousand years ago when Buddhism was soon enough going to disappear from India. The Six Yogas of Naropa went into Tibet about then. This juju is the best thing ever for the human beings. Human potential. I'll probably never get near to be able to do any of the six yogas, but even at the stage I'm at you can see far, far above you, how wonderful this must be. The Chinese invasion did not destroy it. You can now practise this juju in Scotland. How wonderful that is!!

        el guia, Wine of Spain. Blanco. Refreshing dry white. 2012. 11.5%. You have no idea how hard you have to search Waitrose for this. Why don't they have the plonko collapso lined up on the shelves according to strength. Librarians? They need librarians in there!

        I think I have found my spiritual friend. I think you need one of those. Mrs Palmo spoke to me down at the gong bashing. She said she'd dedicate the merit from the juju she'd be doing on the sub-continent to the Domestic Bliss. If rebirth occurs, this will cover the time for that. This is like inviting the Queen of the Fairies to your son or daughter's christening. I am doing, and have done, everything I should be doing with regards to the demise of the love of my life. Mrs Palmo says with a relationship that long the consciousnesses become interwoven. This is exactly what your spiritual friend should say.

       Everything happens just the way it should. Wholeness in flow. Cause and effect. I am living once again the wonderful life. My life expectancy was 52, the length of time my old man had. I've been ten years already in the gravy! I don't expect to be alive more than another three years, if that, because that is the best way to think about it. That's enough self cherishing for anyone of my age.

        Since I took refuge, I must have done about 15,000 hours of meditations. In the seventeen years before that, I was meditating a lot as well. Well, a lot compared to anyone else I know. About two hours a day, there or there abouts, for the previous seventeen years. More than that. It has made me happier than I would have been. I don't know what my bereavement time would be have like without it. The boy says that the road you walk will have stones along the way. You cannot cover the whole road in leather, but you can put leather on the soles of your feet! So you can.

        There will be still be grief, sorrow, lamentations ... disillusionment, disappoint and despair ... suffering in this life. But perhaps not so much. Or maybe it will not be quite so bad. I feel very sorry for the too dumb to meditate, especially with my deep dear friends growing old, but there's nothing I can do about that right now.

         Except become a recluse. Take advantage of your disadvantages. Being an old man alone is exactly what I need at this time in my life. If I could be an old man alone for another couple of years that would be fine. That would be wonderful. If I died tomorrow, I'd have to give myself to give myself a big round of applause. Because I have tried to make my life meaningful. I have tried to make it count. I told myself I would do this, try hard, when my sister died of MS just before I went to university. You have to try to find the thing you can be good at. Your tao. My tao is meditating. I am the HotboyMadyamika and I can surf the oceans of bliss!!!