Reflections before going home!

          What I really like about the Lord of the Dance man, Chagdud Tulku, is that his autobiography is an autobiography. It's transcribed, but it is him speaking, sort of thing. What is wonderful is the lack of hypocrisy. The guy comes across as perfectly human as well as dead wonderful in his practise. Also, it's really the autobiography I think should have been done by Lama Yeshe, the abbot of this place. So, it has been done. I was so inspired I've just bought a hardback for about £30! I haven't spent that much very often on a book I didn't need to own.

          For the first time in the last three times I've been down here, Lama Yeshe was at the morning meditation. Him being here makes such a difference. When I used to come here before for about a week, I usually had a very good experience in my last meditation, something much better than usual. I used to joke with myself that this was a wee present from the lama. I told this to a nun here once some time ago and she looked at me as if it probably wasn't a joke. Who knows? The man is an inspiration.

          So I thought that maybe I could try for an interview with him before I go home, but I think I'm not emotionally stable enough. I've been doing a lot of weeping this year and I think the tears would just start to pour if I started telling him about my current situation, which is wonderful apart from the grieving. I'll maybe wait till the Drupcho in August, or at least until I've got my new hut.

          Last night I didn't get into bed, but lay under the quilt they provide if you are cold with the downie. I slept well. I would have stayed longer today if it hadn't been raining, but we've got really Samye weather today alright!

          I feel quite exhilerated. That's what this place will do to you if you'll let it.