Sometimes you might think this is the most significant time in your life, but you may be getting a little carried away. Maybe you're not. When I go back to Edinburgh, will it all deteriorate and will I go back to things being just the way they were. That wouldn't be so awful since I was having a wonderful old age before I go here.
Today is the first day I've gone to the Dzong morning and afternoon. Though I sit way at the back as far as I can and it is difficult to focus as well as you might while sitting alone, there's something else going on. Energy? Can it be described as the energy in the place being cranked up by all the singing and chanting and occasionally cacophonous music.
My mind is a lot "clearer", if that's the expression I'm looking for. The visualisations of lamas, deities and all that is certainly much improved over the last couple of weeks. For years and years I was managing almost bugger all, but over the last couple of days, especially today, there it was. You want to see a guru's face over your head and there it is. The Dorje Semper visualisation is, of course, far more complex, but even that is much improved.
The after-effects of the vase breathing are also much enhanced. Really much enhanced. Everything is just more and more than it was.
I can't take any of the credit for what's going on. Lama Rinchen Palmo encouraged me to go the Monlam, and brought me here, got me a wonderful place to stay with a really great person. She's on the bike in the photie and she's called Katrina. I don't even know her second name. Apart from today when I went to the shrine in the morning just for a change (Glad I did!!), I've been doing a couple of hours meditating here, then going to the shrine, then coming back for more meditating in the evening. As you can see from the photie, I'm meditating my socks off!
I have a flight on Thursday. I wish I hadn't.
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