A Little Change of View

          My camera came back from its holiday today and so I took some photies of my flat.
       
          There has been a change over the last year of so in my views on meditation. It used to bug me that nobody wanted to do it except me. My Chinese friend said that everyone has their own karma, so you shouldn't worry about such things. That idea helps. Also, I have accepted that rebirth probably occurs though there is no sensible reason why this should be. Rebirth and the working of karma do make things seem a little fairer than they seem to be, but why should things be fair? Just because you'd like them to be? Anyway, in my view of rebirth, YOU don't get reborn. It's just a pile of unresolved crap that gets reborn.

          If you accept this, you're are a flatheid unless you can maintain non-dualist contemplation through waking, sleeping and dreaming, and then you might be able to get out of cyclic existence. I know I am not going to be able to do this, almost certainly, in the time I have left as John McKenzie. If enlightenment in this very body is all that matters, as the Buddha said, well, I think this lifetime must be counted as a failure in itself, but, hopefully, there has been some improvement in what went before. But this is a difficult thing to know for sure.

          I yam what I yam, says Popeye The Sailor Man.

          Being kind to yourself is not a bad starting point for kindness in general. I'm going to be less hard on myself concerning my legion of bad habits. Nothing is perfect in this perfect world. I need a bit more mindfulness and to do more retreats, that's all.

           Speaking of bad habits, I felt a bit tired in the late morning as I walked through the beautiful, wonderful city in the perfect autumnal light. Usually, when I meditate I set my alarm for an hour, or an hour and a half more often. I didn't set it this afternoon and sat without a break from twenty past four till ten past eight. The experiences I have had through meditation make me a very fortunate creature, but it's not something I can take any credit for. I'm just bits of a lot of other people with a variation in causes and circumstances. Free will is overrated. You can only apply it in your given condition for one thing.

           So party on! At the end of the day we're all fucked!