Bye, Bye Kate

             Kate Nixon passed away the night before last in St Margaret's Care Home. I've been visiting Kate in care homes for at least fifteen years, usually every week unless something else got in the way. She had multiple sclerosis, the same disease that killed my sister, so I was keen to help if I could, but I think I got more out of visiting Kate than she got listening to me prattle on about anything that came into my head week after week. MS is a very cruel disease and she bore it as best she could. She probably knew more about me than just about anyone else. I knew she wouldn't tell anyone. I'll miss her. 

            I varied the emails I was sending every now and again to London agents, and in one went on about the agents I had previously, books they'd taken to London and Frankfort book fairs, and how I had two crime books and two books for young adults if they didn't want to look at The Buddha, The Dakini, and The Dirty Old Man. 

            So I got a reply from Susannah Godman, who seems to read everything that goes into Lutyens and Rubinstein Literary Agents. Of course, she didn't want to read The Dirty Old Man, but asked to see the four other books. 

             I was hoping if I got an agent interesting in the genre books that I'd be able to get them to look at The Dirty Old Man. I'm pretty sure that's pie in the sky! Once you've sold a crime book, nobody will be interested in anything other than another crime book, but .... at least, someone wants to read something, so the emails must be getting read ... and deleted without anyone even bothering to tell you to fuck off.

             I got a reply from Filip Holm who runs the YouTube channel Let's Talk About Religion. I don't often send thank you emails to folk, but his channel has been a joy. I watch it while I do hatha yoga, usually in the late afternoon. 

Here comes the heat!

                         I was delighted on Sunday when I found out that Lama Rinchen was going to the Samye Ling for a week of Makahala Prayers, and I managed to get accommodation booked. I love these events. Just sitting there doing the meditations to a background of gong bashing cacophony. 

                       When I started writing anonymous blogs ... must be over twelve years ago now ....I called myself Hotboy because I'd heard that you should imagine yourself what you'd like to become. Like trying to imagine yourself as a deity when you're trying to do deity yoga.I wanted to be able to raise inner heat. I thought if I could do that before I died then I could claim to be a proper practitioner. Well, I doubt that I'll be able to do the completion stage of deity yoga ever, but I think I'm definitely getting heat now. It must be something to do with the "channels" becoming more "open", but there's been a real acceleration in the process over the last couple of weeks. 

                        Lama Rinchen asked me if I was scared a while back. I'm not scared, but I'm watching my step! This is like footering around with your hard drive, not just replacing software. You can imagine it getting completely out of hand. Lama Yeshe warned me once ab out "unleashing forces" I could not control and you can see how you might crash and burn, but I'll soon be seventy three years old and it's quite funny thinking that sitting quietly doing nothing might be dangerous. The whole business is a bit like having an adventure which is happening in slow, slow motion.

                        I started sending emails to London agents about The Buddha, The Dakini, and The Dirty Old Man at the start of October, and so far have received absolutely no response to any of them. Not a cheep! 

                        Someone keeps hitting this blog from Mijdrecht in the Netherlands. Maybe they are interested in meditation. Hi, anyway. 

                        If anyone would like to have a look at The Buddha, The Dakini and The Dirty Old Man (and you should if you're interested in meditation), just put your email address in the comments section. Due to some troll leaving comments, I monitor them now before publishing and you're email won't appear on this blog, but I can use it to send the attachment to you.

                        I've stopped drinking beer through the week. Tempis fugit. And it really does improve the meditations.